LIFE●Birthday

November 30...

Is the last day of November...

Also is my birthday...

At the time 0000 of 30 November...

I start to observe my FB comment...
Very thank for my fren's wishes...
The moment I'm very happy for that even hv nobody celebrate with me...
I hv go to watch movie by self...
This years birthday...
I hv movie "HOMEFRONT" n McD celebrate with me...

But...
Why I'm still very upset?

I feel no mood for my birthday...

Actually...

I'm keep observing my wall comment...

Is for waiting for ur comment...

I dun know why I'm still waiting...

I feel I'm very foolish...

Waiting somebody that hv impossible...
My birthday wish -- I hope that I can know u again...

Now we r like a stranger...

R u willing to be the stranger forever with me?

I know that I been wrong from the start...
Sorry...

LIFE●Dream

These few day...

I'm always dream about u...

I also dun know y...

It happen sudden...

And the dream is very weird...

If u ask me...

Can we together back like before?

My answer will be "Yes"...

U must be wondering about my choice right?

Say the truth...

I can't forget u...but i hv to put down...

I dun know whether now i'm still love u or not...

I also will scare the same things will happen to me and you again...

I know my attitude...

R u willing to handle me back?

Sometimes insomnia may me very upset...

Lying in the bed...

Always flashback what i undergo before...

I hv think about Gunung Jerai...

I hv think about camping...

I hv think about u...

Whr my confidence is?

Now i hv no face to see u...

I'm embarrass about wat i did to u before...

Sorry...

LIFE●JB→KL

Today...
21 Sept 2012 (Sat)...
A date that I come back from posting at Johor Bahru...
I hv posted 6weeks at JB...

Today...
Because of a song...
I realize that u still occupy a part of me...
A 4mins length song...
Can let me think of u from the beginning till the end...
And I know that...
"People...
Face any problems...
Always will lose...
Because of the three "words"..."
N I will lose between you n me...
Because of "I <3 U"...
Because of me hv no brave to say out the "words"...
N become now's the consequences...
I can't regret...
I hv no choice for regret...
This is the way that I choose...
I need to go ahead till the end...

Today...
I hv saw in my wechat...
One's of my fren...
Posted the childish n negative things...
Then said that "Very sad"...
"Nobody understand"...
"If I disappears, who will remember me"...
I know that everyone hv own things to bother...
Even myself...
But why not to positive little bit?
Always negative thinking...
Will the person happy?
Even face to very beautiful n wonderful things...
The person also were not happy...
If we can't change the situation...
We change our conditions we fix it...
Try to enjoy it...
We may taste the different...
We can choose the ending...
"Keep calm and stop childish..."

LIFE●A Girl

Now I was talking about a girl...
The girl...I dun know her name...
Why I will talking about her...
Because of she let me meet her twice in a day...
So she gv me very deep impression...
I hv note her many time alrdy...
N I juz know she seems like very fond red colour...
So I juz call her Ms. Red...

Let me clarify why I start to notice her...
On tat day...
I was hving morning class at the college...
So follow the customary...
I hving breakfast at the canteen college...
So when I was sitting down...
I saw her with her fren...
Hving breakfast in front of my table...
N everybody know...
At the morning...juz wake up...
So hv some unconsciousness...
Her face similar with u...
So I think is u...
N then I keep thinking...
"I'm in KL...u were impossible study at my college..."
I keep calm n see again...
Really similar with u...juz she is more smaller...
Tat was the 1st meet...

After tat...
At the same day...
Because of my sister in law...
I was going McD n get minions with my senior...
I saw her again...
She was come out from toilet...
N meet me at the place tat taking sauce...
She looking me for a while than go back to her seat...
N I realize she juz looking at me after go back to her seat...

After the day...
I start notice her...
Today n yesterday...
Also meet her while waiting for the lift at my hostel...
I really wan to acquaint her...
Is it her name same with u?
Or is tat u?
Hope tt can be fren with her oneday...

LIFE●Movie day

Today like the normal weekend...

Every weekend I was very boring...

N also dun wan stay at the hostel...

At the morning...

I was going to Sunway Pyramid...

Is a nice place...

But more is focus in shopping...

Thr have many shop...

Actually I will go thr...

Juz because I hv receive a cash voucher for Ice Watch...

So today I was go thr n find the shop...

But thr were nothing...

After I hv my lunch I going back to One Utama...

For my Wolverine...

Unfortunately...

I reach One U at 1550...

N my ticket is 1830...

3hrs...wat I can do?

I juz stay at Starbuck n hving a Green Tea Latte...

When I sit thr alone n hving my Green Tea Latte...

I was thinking about many things...

Actually...(tis is from myself mind...)

When I was more growing follow the age...

I realize tat I be more alone...more quite...

Dun like before at the secondary school...

Everyday go school...chit-chating...

When the weekend was free...

Will go to St.john office...

Hlping ppl...save ppl...

St.john office...

Thr are my happiness place...

When I was sad or angry...

Go thr sure my mood will become more better than better...

But now...

Everything change alrdy...

Now at here...not much fren...

Maybe because of i realize...

Nobody can I talk heart by heart...

Finally...the one will betray u...

Feel lonely...

N now...

I dun know is because of me or anything...

When I go office...

Nobody will like me...

They r like banding me...

Is it because of I not a members at thr anymore?

Is it because of the position?

Is it because of I did anything wrong?

Or because of communication problem?

Why the meaning place for me will be like tat?

Why I must live under other ppl face?

Sometimes wan to joke...

Also need to think twice even thrice...

Because of this...

All ppl r change...

Are they happy with tis life?

I realize that thr were no peaceful...

I feel very very uncomfortable..

If I can turn back the clock or hv time machine...

I wish tat the all things never happen...

N everyone can live in happiness...

Is it possible?

The answer obviously no...

Wat should I do n wat can I do?

LIFE●Posting time

Today is the 1st day of posting...
Not to the out station...
Juz at college...
Feel some boring here...

Today hv something let me hv a deep touch...

Follow the customary...
At the morning we will do the procedure...
N then till after lunch time...
We were juz free...
Some CI will gv something to do...
N today...
After we done everything...
We start to plying...
N we ply true or dare...
Keeping spinning the pen...
My fren was take turn...
N ask by other ppl "why u still like the stupid guy..."
N she say love is blind n talk about the their story...
My other frens keep blaming her...
N I was think...
Love...is serious blind...
When you were really fall in love with someone...
You will forgive anything the ppl did...
N the 1st person tat occur in my mind is you..
I try...I try to forgive anything u do...
But I know...
I don't qualify to hv any forgiveness from u...
I feel I was do very bad to you...
I hope u can accept my sorry...

After tat I take turn...
N hv someone ask me...
"Wat u will do with ur girl other than watch movie in the cinema in couple seat..."
I think of u again...
N I was start touching...
I go to cinema for many times alrdy...
But I hvnt try to buy couple seat with my girl...
I dun know how to answer them...
I juz say nothing...
Really feel down...
Today my mind is very complicate...
Very difficult to understand my mind...
Wat my mind wan...
Is it tis kind of ppl still alive?
The ppl tat don't understand themselves...like me...
You r always irritate my mind...
Can u please juz go far away?

LIFE●New days

It suppose to be a new day for me...

Finally, I was finish my EXAM...
N go to my posting time...
The posting time for my tis,semester quite long...
3 months n 2 weeks...
My next posting venue was possible to Johor...
Because of the penang contract is expired...
So might be Johor or KL...
But sure I hv my Raya holiday...
But till now I still not yet buy my ticket for go back...
Still hv 2 more weeks...
Now I miss my everything at my hometown alrdy...
Including you...

I recognize that I still miss you thinking of you...
But the feeling...
Juz for a moment...
Like when I was insomnia...
Or listening to the music...
Sometimes, the lyrics were very touching...
It touch deeply of my heart...
N at the moment...
I will start thinking of everything of us...
Think of how we know each other...
Think of the time tat we hv been gone through...
Maybe because of my lonely...
Now's a day...
U r not mine...
We still friend right?
We still hv the time to meet up...
Hopefully tat I can handle my feeling...
My feeling tat facing u...

Now I was face some problem...
I think is my self problems...
I can't join other ppl conversation...
Even alone with tat ppl...
My communication skill been more weaken n weaken...
Maybe at here I can't find someone same type with me...

Sometimes I was very upset very stressful...
I need someone who can talk to me...
N I found tat...
When I was open my wechat or whatsapp or anything...
Thr was no anyone willing listen to me...
The only one tat willing listen to me is gone...
Now wan to find the other ppl like u...
It were not impossible...
But the percentage is very low...
N I know...
Thr were not possible for me to find u again...
U need to accompany the other's...
Not belongs to me...

LIFE●New Chapter

Long time hvnt update my blog...
In these day...
I hv go through many things...

But those things tat get me a deep hurt is...
When I was at my hometown for 1 week...
Coz I hv dengue fever n admitted to the hospital...

I was very touching...
Coz my relatives n frens were come n visiting me...
I was very happy...
Hv u all seen tat people admitted to hospital...
still can enjoying "BlackBall"?
Yah... I'm the 1...^^

But hv something let me feel disappointed...
Is u...
B'coz of u...
I put in my hope...
I hope tat every time...
I can see u when my open my eyes...
Admitted to hosp. for 3 days...
I keeping my hope for 3 days...
Finally...
I get nothing...
Even a msg from u...
Even a concern from u...

I'm very thankful for my frens tat blessed me...
I'm very disappointed n hopeless to u...
I think our friendship...
Is going to the last 3 words of the "FRIEND"...

I wan to start a new chapter of my life...
A new chapter tat the world still hv u...
I still missing u...
I still thinking of u...
And...
I will remember wat is the lesson after ur chapter...

"Don't put in ur heart, he/she may not be the last ppl with you till the end"

心情●入低

总是很会安慰别人，说别人…
每当事情发生在自己身上…
却安慰不了自己…

现在有谁能来安慰我？
此时此刻的心情…
又有谁能懂？
我好希望有谁能来懂我…

每晚都迟迟入睡…
都觉得自己好傻…
自己听着歌…
自己流泪…
却找不到人陪…

有时自己莫明其妙的伤心…
不愿和别人说一句话…
有种有眼哭不出眼泪的感觉…
心很痛…
感觉我好像缺少了什么…
好没安全感…
好害怕…

最近的大选…
都赢得了人民的愤怒…
也很流行一种魔术…
一种连世界级魔术师都不会的魔术…

我也想要有这魔术…
大概会不会在下次的停电后…
你就会回来？
我们就会在一起？
好希望会如此…

没了你…
感觉生活缺少了些什么…

我没对你放手是我的不对…
但我愿意就这样错下去…

如果他欺负你的话就回来我这吧…
我会在原点等着你…
我还有好多好多话没对你讲…
到时你回来了…
我再慢慢的跟你讲…
不管你回不回来…
这些话我都会收着…

“当你真的很喜欢一个女生，看到她的笑容，你会真心真意的去祝福她…”

心情●害怕

其实最近都在实习...
在上个星期就来到了tanjong karang...
一个我不熟息又没听过的地方...
开始觉得很闷，现在还是觉得很闷...

来到这里我反而没有在宿舍的放心...
心情一直都闷着...
也不懂什么事情...
这几天…不…应该是说我来到这之后就没什么好睡到...
今天更糟了...
我似乎害怕了关眼睛...
一关上眼睛...
不想记起的那些感情的回忆...
全都涌了来...
听着一首歌曲...回忆着许许多多的回忆...
当我醒起来的时候…
那首歌也都还没播完...
忽然感觉到关上眼睛...
另我想起了好多好多与你的回忆...

而且来到这以后不懂是肮脏还是敏感...
我的手痒得很厉害...
最后就这样了...

唯有听医生的话吃药了…><

心。累

其实最近一直都在想回以前的事情…
而且也会想想以后的事情…
我会想…
以后我到底会过一个怎样的生活…

曾经有一个人带我走进了一个很有梦想的生活…
那时候起我已经知道我以后过得是什么生活…
我有我的目标…
但是如今我的的目标梦想都离我越来越远了…
那时候我也会想说把心思都放在赚钱和学业的身上…
但是学业方面有进展因为现在是在实习时期…
事业方面还是一事无成…
感觉好失败…
我失去了当初的斗志…
虽然说上线们都一直鼓励我…
但是有时在关键时刻找不到上线…
要不然就要我自己找答案…
已经是关键时刻了…
还得自己找…
到最后还是失去了客户…
这就是我的斗志已被消磨至尽的原因…

最近我都一直在想感情的事…
不知道为什么眼睛一关…
以前的事情都跑到完出来了…
这是寂寞的能量吗？
我发觉到…
一个人在寂寞的时候很容易胡思乱想…
我是一个很怕孤单却一直孤单的人…
我想起了我们之间的一切...
从开始认识到我怎么吃醋怎么不理你…
到我开始喜欢你...
然后到你说你喜欢我…
再到我们的感情开始变淡…
直到现在…
我看到你的成熟...
我忽然觉得我很幼稚…
可能也是你不喜欢我的原因之一吧...

我到现在还是同样的心情同样的感情...
很多事情都少了那股冲劲那股推动力…
到了现在才发现到…
其实我慢慢的不再做一些得不到结果的事情…
但是我改变不料我的心…
曾经有人问我为什么我电话的密码会是这样的pattern...
我沉默了...
都是因为你...
我有很多的密码都是由你而生...
你应该不懂吧？
呵呵...我很蠢吧？^^
我不想忘记你...
你或许只是我生命中的过客…
并不是我的最后一站…
但我还是要看着你幸福…

哇...
孤单的力量真不可思议...
真的是闷到没话讲了...
还是睡觉比较能打发时间...
晚安了...各位...^^

累字何解??!!

今天超累的…
就连吃东西都想睡了…
好久没有这种感觉了…

其实还有更累的是我的心…
我还该不该继续下去？
又有谁能来了解我的心？
有没有一个朋友…
能让我来把所有的心情都往你身上丢了…
还不会变脸的朋友？
今天心情糟透了…

其实我也想有人来关心…
有人来陪…有人来爱…
可惜…
我爱的人不是爱我的人…
爱我的人不是我爱的人…
但是今天的我还不想谈恋爱…
而且更不想谈远距离的恋爱…
可以说是我自卑…
因为我觉得身在远方的我…
给不了远方的Ta安全感…
给不了Ta想要的…
更不能有个实实在在的陪伴…
应该得慢慢放弃没有结果的事情…
不要执著于过去…
活在当下，展现未来…
我不是一个值得交的好朋友…
我平时废话多过真话…
但是朋友有难我会帮到底…

我想说

其实你在想什么，
我不知道…
因为我那样说，
你不开心…
我真的没办法了…
我狠下心那么说，
只希望你能明白…
因为那只是过去…
没有人的过去可以从来…
只能说 对不起…

From: Final Hiroshima

其实●其实●其实

其实我不懂你是否还在想我…
但我还是那么的喜欢你…爱你…
虽然已经很久没联络…
而偶尔的聊聊几句就关了…
发现到…你成熟了很多…
习惯了去每一个地方玩…
都会看到一对对的情侣…
而我就会想几时我才会带着另一半去…
第一个想到的就是你…

其实我好喜欢当年喜欢你，爱你的我…
今年的情人节，我也没想送你任何东西…
只想祝福你…
愿你一切安好，心想事成…
尽早找个你爱的和他爱你的男朋友…^^

没人要的话就回来吧…
还有个笨蛋在这里等你…^^