New Chapter ● New LIFE

There were very long long time I haven't update my blogger.

Due to a lot of pressure, assignment and living stuff.

Time flies, is time to flip to another chapter of my life

Still remember 3 years before I was just a normal playful teenager.

And after 3 years, I was a person who are one of the trained nurse.

Now, I'm a fresh trained nurse from the university.

There are a lot of stuff happening in this year.

I really unable to arrange all the things together.

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I think I should begin from January till now.

(I will just wrote down roughly)

This year I have started went to GYM due to one of the event that happening in March 2015.

It called VIPER CHALLENGE at Sepang, Kuala Lumpur.

This was a amazing event with 20 km + 10 obstacles marathon.
Is a crazy event I been through.

I have nice memories with all of my friends who join this event with me.

This is my memories with my crazy VIPER friends.

We have gone through the obstacles and very glad that we have came back with no any injuries.

And some more we help each other to face the challenges level by level.

In my student nursing life in the college in this year was quite busy.

Because my last year attachment to Hospital Penang for 3 months with clinical instructor from SEGi KL.

That was terrible experience that I have face to.

I know the CI want us to be more professional but the ways that they do is really speechless.

That really bad experience I have face in my student nurse life with a lot of pressure.

My tears was coming out due to the pressure.
And I have to tell myself, need to think in positive way.

"The person who survive from the pressure will be successful!"
This year I have to face my nursing board examination at June.

And very thankful to GOD that I have pass the examination.

Now I have been working as a Paramedic in St.John Ambulance Division Gurun.

The good news is I have been taken as a Staff Nurse from one of the Singapore Hospital.

Which is a very busy and pressure hospital in Singapore.

After October I have to be there and working as a Staff Nurse.

The things that I unable to let down is Ms. J.

Now I always become moody, mostly because of you.
I don't know how to face you.

I have no courage to find you.
We have the fate to meet but unable be together.

I have falling to you when Chinese New Year and you wearing the CheongSam suit.

And I love that feeling that we are together, I feel comfortable.

I'm going to that camp because of you.

I was shock at first while we are in a team,

I was thinking bout we have the fate but who knows it was arranged.

I enjoy the time that we been together in the camp.

We made a vow to treat each other as family members,

We face all the challenges,

We played, We ate, We laughed, We cried also together.

I was really feel sorry to see you crying, 

I wanted to hug you and console you and lent you my shoulder.

I feel wanted to protect you and the feeling is just for you.

I don't know how to express my feeling to you.

After the camp, we chatting together, accompanied you to do assignment.

As I just have few more weeks to be with you,

I just want to be with you until completion of my uni life.

That day before the confession to you, I feel very tangled and insomnia for whole night.

I was thinking a lot...

"If you agree, we have to start with a long distance relationship and its was very challenging for us; If you disagree, maybe we might feel awkward to face each other and maybe relationship will be worse than to be a friend........."

But at the end, I'm still express my feeling to you which is "I Love You, will you to be my girlfriend?"

And you haven't state that you agree or not, it just said that wrong timing.

At beginning, I really feel your care. Even I'm a nurse and I love the feeling that care by you.

The happiest hours gone fast, that feeling just lasting for few days.

You start to escape from me with the reason of I'm too good to you and make you feel uncomfortable.

Firstly, I was just think about maybe you not really accustomed to me.
So I have start to keep the distance with you as a normal friend.

I really care about you, I wanted to be good to you and I have no idea with what to do.
Accept continue chatting and caring through Wechat, other than that I really don't know what to do.

And I start to feel get sick due your fits and starts.

I plan to make something to you before I leaving.

And I have start to make cards and something that I haven't try before.

Still remember that day, we make a promise that we might meet up after your gathering.

And I don't know why till midnight and haven't receive any message from you.

I started worrying, and I know maybe you still not yet finish your gathering, so I sent message to you.

And who knows I received a call from your friend but not you.

That time, I heard something break to be pieces.

I try to stick it back. I keep telling myself maybe you are just busy with your stuff.

That night, you think I was tired. Yes, I was tired, but is mentally tired.

You make me feel like not important, feel like useless.

I don't know should I continue? Or give up? I'm tired...

I know I'm just a friend for you. But for me, you occupy the most in my heart.

My heart break to be pieces. I feel like wanna escape to another place who doesn't know me.

Till now, I not dare to find you because I scare that feeling. I don't like the hot and cold.

I'm always waiting, waiting you to chat me,

Because I know, I will feel my presence if you chat me.

Our relationship unable going back to the those day we being together.

If have a chance back to the previous day, I will plan not to telling you that 3 words.

Maybe we can still continue the relationship as a friend and stay beside you, care you, talking to you.